Mental Game

My Brooklyn Half and Queens 10K times were more than 2 minutes over my goal time.  While at the time of racing, it felt like a physical impediment, I think my mental game could have gotten me at goal or closer to goal.  Also, it's strange how I can run a 10K faster during a half marathon than at a 10K.  Another mental issue, because it seems so short in comparison to the full 13.1, but when running a 10K, 6.2 seems long enough to be daunting.

I think one important issue is that I need start more slowly.  I think I hit a mini-wall at Mile 2 of the 10K and Mile 8 of the Half.  I should address this by doing progression runs, which I find absolutely difficult to do.  I'm the positive split queen!  But this also failed to help at the NYC Half, where I started very conservatively (but that may have been due to the cold temperature and thawing out enough to pick up the pace).

It's also discouraging that I'm so slow.  My pace seems stuck, for better and for worse.  I can't imagine running an 8-minute mile, but I also can't imagine running a half marathon in slower than a 10-something pace.  But maybe it's because I choose comfort and familiarity over speed.  When I was running 10-minute miles, it felt safe and comfortable and ensured that I'd be injury-free.  Going at 9:20ish hurt my legs and lungs.  And when I ran the Jingle Bell Jog at that pace, I crashed right before the finisher's chute and jogged to the finish.  It's so hard to strike the right balance of having enough energy for a kick and fast finish and putting everything out there on the course and not having too much energy left over.  I know I should try to finish my longer runs with a sprint to work on this.  I'm also trying to be more mindful of running slow runs slowly and fast runs fast.

Pace seems so relative though.  When I only run at 5.2 on the treadmill, that seems difficult.  But when I start at 5.7, 5.2 is so easy.  And running at 7.2 makes 5.7 a breeze.  I think I gain confidence knowing I can hang onto faster paces, but starting slow just keeps me going slower.  But the opposite seems true at a race.  Starting fast depletes my energy.

I also think I've been wary of speedwork because after the 800m repeats, my legs felt dead for days.  But there are other factors that may have contributed to this--lack of sleep, not fueling properly, and running outside in heat and humidity.  I was so slow that Tom walked uphill faster than I was jogging, and I couldn't pick up the pace.

Sometimes I just want to go back to running at whatever speed and not caring about my race times or PRing.  Running was simpler and I was happier.  But then I want to see what my potential is, how fast I can get, whether I can run a 5K in under 30 minutes, a10K in under an hour, a half in under 2 hours, a marathon in under 4.5 hours.

And despite my only goal for the marathon being simply to finish, I hold onto the hope that I will finish between 4:29 and 5:00.